5 Pieces Of Advice That Mislead You Without Your Knowledge

The truth is that there are actually more pieces of advice that mislead us without our knowledge. However, for the sake of brevity, I will only be dealing with five of them in this article.

Disclaimer: I am not advising anything to anyone here.

“The people sensible enough to give good advice are usually sensible enough to give none.” ― Eden Phillpotts (English Novelist).

1. Good Things Come To Those Who Wait

My friend, there is nothing worse than the saying, “Good things come to those who wait.”

Nothing waits for you, though you are willing to wait.

If it is not for you, it goes to someone else.

You just cannot be waiting indefinitely.

You are sure to complete your lifespan before good things happen (And, by that time, those things would have made no difference to you).

“What are you waiting for? How long will you keep waiting? Don’t sit back and wait for life to happen to you. Have a plan and take the needed steps to create what you want.” ― Steve Maraboli

My sincere advice is not to wait indefinitely.

If things are not working in your favour, just move on with plan B.

There is so much more your life is willing to offer you.

“Don’t wait too long. Life takes unexpected turns and we don’t always have the time we think we have.” ― Sylvain Reynard

2. Live Like Every Day Was Your Last

This statement is credited to Marcus Aurelius (It is another depressing piece of advice).

How are you going to lead a peaceful family life if with a loving spouse and beautiful children when you possess that mindset?

Can you concentrate on your work?

How do you fulfil your long-term projects?

Can you be productive in society with that type of mindset?

You may not be aware of the existence of death cafes.

So far, there has been a huge amount of death cafes in 77 countries.

At death cafes, people gather with the intention of discussing death while they drink tea and eat cake (The whole logic behind this type of behaviour is to bring awareness of death as well as to make good use of their life).

Would it be nice if we lived without the fear of the day being our last?

“People should live every day like they’re going to be alive for the remainder of their natural lifespan.” ― Mary Fisher

Why don’t you see each day as a God-given opportunity?

3. Don’t Take Things Personally

“Don’t take things personally,” is another one of those silly pieces of advice.

What happens if you happen to be a hypersensitive person?

My dear friend, we are human beings. We are made up of blood, sweat and tears.

Ego is our inborn trait.

Our mindset confirms that we can never go wrong.

If someone uses inappropriate language against you, your siblings, your parents, your family, how can you not take the insults personally?

How can you remain quiet when your feelings are hurt?

Yes, you are an individual with individuality and the personalization of things is part and parcel of who you are.

You have every right to take it personally and get offended.

You can’t be the Buddha.

You are at no fault because the things that are happening to you are beyond your control and are fast-paced.

So, why should you not take it personally and give a befitting reply to the events?

No one will dare to repeat their mistake the next time around.

“If you are testing my waters, you better know how to swim.” ― Unknown

4. Don’t Talk To Strangers

Hello, my friend, don’t you remember that we are social animals?

A lot of us chat with strangers via social media. Don’t you agree?

Yet we tell our children not to talk with strangers and mentally train them to be careful.

Of course, It’s every parent’s nightmare, if a child talks to a stranger.

This is because every parent feels that their child may be harmed, molested, etcetera.

This advice has a good intention and is good for childhood, but sadly, the child carries the same attitude in adulthood; which becomes problematic; especially if they wish to become successful in their lives.

Many turn into introverts and they fail to appreciate the beautiful world waiting for them.

How can you not be talking to strangers and getting things done?

Talking to a stranger is the only way to build up a friendship and bonding with a person takes you to another level ― one that sustains mutual benefits.

Please keep in mind, that you must start a conversation in order to create a dialogue.

Just smile and say, “Hi,” to a stranger; that is enough to start the ball rolling!

You might find something in common and end up enjoying each other’s company.

Here are two quotes that are worth mentioning:

Typical Indian Parents Behaviour

“‘Don’t talk to strangers,’ she was advised all her childhood.
“A few years later,
“Her entire family sat around watching her and expecting her to discuss her marriage and her life with a complete stranger.” ― Nikilesh Muralidhar

This is a regular pattern that happens during arranged marriages in Indian families.

Known Strangers

Are you familiar with the concept of known strangers?

They are none other than our best buddies.

What would you say if familiar faces became strangers in matters of friendship due to an ego problem?

“It is amazing how fast someone can become a stranger.” ― Unknown

5. Everything Happens For A Reason

That saying is absolute BS.

Can you tell this to someone who was raped or molested or to someone who has lost a child or is in mourning?

Don’t you believe that this statement is merely a belief system and has nothing to do with our lives?

My dear friend, nothing happens for a reason; mark my word, it just happens!

Thousands dying around the world in conflicts, famines, war or calamities, are not dying for a reason.

They are just unfortunate.

Did they deserve to die this way?

Frankly speaking, we can never know if things happen for a reason, though we try to pinpoint a cause with the intention of getting satisfaction and inner peace.

Why is this so?

Are you familiar with the concept known as, “Cognitive dissonance”?

Cognitive dissonance is defined as psychological stress experienced by a person who simultaneously holds two or more contradictory beliefs, ideas or values.

Examples include: a person eating meat and at the same time being an animal-lover or developing a smoking habit in spite of being fully aware of its harmful effects.

Our level of stress is reduced whenever we try to provide reasons for particular situations (This is because we tend to see a pattern in everything that happens to us).

My friend, failure or loss is inevitable and trying to rationalize them is unpardonable.

“The hardest thing about, ‘Everything happens for a reason,’ is waiting for that reason to show up.” ― Karen Salmansohn

The Take-Home Message

“Don’t mind anything that anyone tells you about anyone else. Judge everything and everyone for yourself.” ― Henry James (American Author)

Please feel free to share your opinion.

Thank you!

About the guest author:

Dr. Sridhar is the man behind Philosophy Through Photography.

This deep thinker from India wears many hats; he is a physician, a blogger, a philosopher and an amateur photographer.

Published by philosophy through photography

My philosophy is: Life is hard, but God is good. Try not to confuse the two. Anne F. Beiler

79 thoughts on “5 Pieces Of Advice That Mislead You Without Your Knowledge

        1. 100% agree Lokesh Sastya.

          As humans we come across more than billions of situations and surprisingly more than trillions of responses , though the type of situation remains same.

          And sadly no body is able to give a satisfactory reply as to why we differ and fail to come to a common ground.

          There are many contradictory quotes and sayings by the learned Sages adding further confusion.

          My guess is we all have ego, however much one refuses to accept this fact.

          Thank you so much for taking the discussion further

          Liked by 2 people

  1. “How are you going to lead a peaceful family life if with a loving spouse and beautiful children when you possess that mindset?”

    Eeeeeks! 😮 Who even wants something as boring as that in the first place? A spouse is cool but we don’t have room or time for fekin kidz in our lifes.
    I’l state it again: We’re going on 8 billion useless assholes on this rock! Resources are running out quickly, climate is changing, jobs are getting very very sparse and most of us will see the first water wars in our lifetime. This isn’t the time to populate earth even more. Mice are clever, they stop making kidz when their habitat becomes too cramped and the food too sparse. Are you willingly admitting that stupid llitle mice are cleverer than us hoomans? As a race they are already!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you so much Orca Flotta.

      Always a pleasure to hear from you.

      “Be the change you want to see in the world” is the most famous and popular quote credited to Mahatma Gandhi.

      Time immemorial….Humans have seen changes but not in their attitude and everybody is perfect in their thinking.

      Scientists claim that AI will take care of all the problems.

      Only thing left is just chill😀😀😂🤣 and lead the life till the end! By being cool😄🥂

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Wow, this blog is informative as I’m reading each sub topic, I’m impressed because these topics are entangled in everyone’s mind.

    > Don’t take things personally
    >Everything happens for a reason
    >Live your day as if it were your last
    Etc.. I have learnt a lot here 👏

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Thank you Ashley.
      Again we are not sure why the rapist made that decision on that particular fateful day and at that particular moment.We can only guess the reasons but none can tell what exactly was going on in that rapist mind.
      ‘Decision making’ by the rapist has happened.

      Liked by 2 people

  3. And 2 of those are my favorites – live your life like it’s your last day and don’t take anything personally. That comes from my favorite book, the 4 agreements. They have helped me a lot through some tough times. We never know when our last day will be and if you take everything personally you will be miserable. (My take on it, anyway!) Great topic!

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Finally someone else also decided to write this.
    Its a really controversial topic to discuss. Some people won’t agree to you because they may also be true somewhere.
    Previously I do have written something close to this.
    Here’s the link to that:- https://theblogera.com/the-best-advice-i-have-heard-so-far/
    Do consider visit it.

    I believe advices are situational. An advice may work for one but it is not necessary that it’ll work for you too.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you Ritish Sharma for enlightening me further.

      “Finally some one else also decided to write this”
      Glad that we are sailing in the same boat & great minds think alike’
      May be we are running out of ideas and trying to put some wine with added flavors in the same old wine bottle.

      “Its a really controversial topic to discuss”
      The term controversy always reminds a funny quote.
      “You aren’t controversial, you aren’t yet being yourself” Teal
      Sadly if one doesn’t agree to a point of view it becomes controversial, and we are all used to this and have become immune.
      We all know that every coin has two sides. and people form their opinions based on the level of their exposure to events happening in their personal lives.
      What is ‘right’ to one may be ‘wrong’ to other and thus controversy develops.
      That is why wise people discuss among themselves and try to figure out the problem and solve it rather than enter into court room arguments.

      We are human beings and for every thought we get, there is somebody to oppose and there is somebody else to support and time immemorial we are into this funny or awkward situation.

      If you have noticed, I mentioned the disclaimer in the beginning itself that I am not advising anything.

      And our gracious host Renard has published another of my post sometime back about advices being given. If you find time you can check this link https://renardsworld.wordpress.com/2020/06/04/everybody-is-busy-advising-everybody/

      Thank you so much my friend, for providing a link to your post covering topic of similar nature. Sure to Check and enjoy reading the same.

      “I believe advices are situational. An advice may work for one but it is not necessary that it’ll work for you too”
      I agree with you 100% , but there are people who are not willing to accept that these advices are situational and insist that those thoughts can not be disputed. Probably you can express your opinion about this and thus add to my knowledge bank.

      It’s really a pleasant feeling to talk to you and sure to check your blog and get enriched further.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I really love talking about things that are quite different but seems obvious.
        I suspect you too have some amazing concepts to discuss and I’ll surely check out the link you provided here.
        And interested to read more of your work. Although I’m not a philosopher or physician, it’s just all the random thinking that comes to my mind.
        And I write it down before it die prematurely in my brain.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Dear Philo, Marcus Aurelius is often misquoted, and the one you bring up is not an exception. The real quote (from Meditations) is “It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live.” I trust that you would agree that it leaves no doubt as to his optimism and enthusiasm for life. In Meditations, he glorifies “the beauty of life” and “the happiness of your life.” Death Cafes sound so morbid that I don’t even want to address it, but cults of death have existed since ancient times – “there is nothing new under the sun and moon,” remarked King Solomon.
    As to taking things personally, most certainly we have the right to our feelings, but please allow me to cite Marcus Aurelius again: “How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it.”

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Thank you Dolly.
      Agree what you explained things from ‘Meditations’
      “How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it.”… is exceptionally brilliant.
      I am convinced.

      As far as Death Cafes is concerned nothing to feel bad or fear about it. I feel it’s just to bring awareness that one need not get scared about death.

      Many avoid the very topic of ‘death’ and I can understand the sentiments and fully respect the same.

      Always it’s my pleasure to hear your thoughts on ‘confusing’ matters.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I guess it’s just the name that didn’t ring well for me, dear Philo, since, as I said, death cults have existed since ancient times, and many of them ended with ritual murders, mutilations, and suicides.
        The pleasure is always mine to read your articles and engage in a discussion.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Thank you so much Dolly.
          I am in agreement with you regarding the sentiments.
          People always try to bring new things and now I hear about Coffin Clubs, said to be a sort of funeral revolution.
          Awareness of such inventions good or bad I don’t know.
          If you find time and patience you can clear my doubt.

          Liked by 1 person

          1. I think too much emphasis on death is unhealthy. Death is inevitable (like taxes), so there is no reason to fear it. We have to focus on life, living it to the fullest, to the most of our abilities. We have to work on improving quality of life, both for ourselves and for other people, then we would live longer and be healthier, and death will come when it comes – it’s in the Hand of A-mighty.
            I think those death and coffin clubs are frivolous; instead of spending time and money on death and coffin clubs, those people could collect food and supplies to help those in need!

            Liked by 1 person

            1. “I think those death and coffin clubs are frivolous; instead of spending time and money on death and coffin clubs, those people could collect food and supplies to help those in need!”

              So beautifully you articulated Dolly!

              There is no meaning in discussion about death since no one can escape, instead spend that time in serving the needy if one in a position to do so.

              So all these clubs and cafes nothing but money making business propositions?

              Interesting.

              Humans never tired of inventing things that can make one rich!

              Some said discussion about death etc. is a taboo and people give excuses and run away from the reality and they are living in a world of illusion. They are timid and weak and refuse to accept the inevitable!

              So always two schools of thought!😒

              Thank you so much Dolly for the clarification.

              Liked by 1 person

  6. Thank you for writing about this. These classic sayings have been passed from generations to generations thinking that they are the “best” principles to practice.

    It’s good that we learn to deeply analyze and once and for all disregard what doesn’t work for us, just because they are penned by some famous philosophers. Not to mention, some were written a long time ago, on a different setting, different systems. Obviously, a lot of concept/beliefs no longer applies to the modern society we live in and we have to adapt with how life evolves and therefore make our OWN set of rules or wisdomful advice. But then again, everyone is entitled to their own opinion and I respect what works for them…. But nonetheless, still thanks for this eye-opening post. 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

  7. Excellent points made, Dr. Sridhar, and much to ponder. I love this quote “People should live every day like they’re going to be alive for the remainder of their natural lifespan.” ― Mary Fisher

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I gone through your post.
      An interesting read my friend.
      Thank you very much for highlighting the typical Indian parents style of treating their children, a kind of 100% protection from harm.
      Sometimes this child treats their children in a similar way because of parenteral influence.
      Vicious circle continues.
      “Offend first and then say…. don’t take it personally” quite apt…
      Well said.

      Liked by 1 person

        1. Thank you my friend.
          Let me be clear that I am not generalizing the mentality of the entire Indian Parenteral style of taking care of their children.
          Majority of the parents understand their children and vice versa.
          I love one particular quote about’ History repeats itself’

          “History repeats itself, until we learn the lessons, that we need to change our path” Unknown

          Like

  8. Thank you, thank you, thank you Dr. Sridhar for this post! May I say it is one of your VERY best posts! Everything you wrote resonated with me.
    I could go on for a good long time about your 5 points….but I will settle on discussing #5~~ “Everything Happens for a Reason”.
    I’ve heard this all my life & my response has been what was the reason my Mother tried to abort me 3 times b4 she gave birth? Why did she abandon me for the first 10 years of my Life? Why did she allow my StepMonster (father) to abuse myself & my adopted Sister in every way? Why were we beaten by her? Why was she so mentally unhinged? And then let’s go to my grown up life…why did many men attempt to rape me? Why was my dear brother Dale murdered @ age 25? (I was 29 & had cancer to deal with).
    Why did my 3rd husband use me like a ‘punching bag’ every weekend when he war drunk? Why did my 5th husband commit Suicide? Why did the last man I was with (he would have been #6 hubby) try to kill me with his bare hands??
    I could go on but you get the drift of what I am saying. So much pain & emotional turmoil. So much transgression don3. And then I was left to deal with the emotional & mental scars alone.
    People always tell me what I’ve been thru has made me stronger & tougher & I am a Warrior….
    I say I am a mature woman now…worn out & exhausted from always having to fight like a Warrior to just exist….there is REASON any person should suffer in such ways. I am not alone.,…my neighbor is a lovely lady 6 years younger than me. And her story is much like mine. I have met many women who have similar stories to share. And even the occasional man who has gone thru abuse I never believed possible to be done to a young boy/teenager.
    Life happens. There is good & there is evil~~ things happen because of how people are raised & shaped & what they believe & are taught. Teach them good & they will be good. Teach them evil & they will do evil.
    And then there are people like me who have had evil done to them who STRIVE daily to do only good!
    Thank you for letting me share once again.
    Sincerely, Sherri-Ellen T-D.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Thank you so much Sherri-Ellen T-D

      Thanks a ton for taking your valuable time and patiently explaining the incidents that happened to you which resonated with one of the advices.

      For some unknown reasons things happen in our lives.

      As humans we try to find out the reason for the happenings in our life, because we think we can be careful and capable of handling future surprises and sadly never LIFE works that way.

      Life just happens.

      And your last part of the comment is very touching

      ” There is good & there is evil~~ things happen because of how people are raised & shaped & what they believe & are taught. Teach them good & they will be good. Teach them evil & they will do evil.
      And then there are people like me who have had evil done to them who STRIVE daily to do only good!”

      Thank you so much for sharing your feelings so frankly.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Dr, Srhidar it is true that Life just happens!
        WE have a saying here “If you want to make G-D laugh, tell Him/Her your plans!!”
        It is so true…..I thank you for taking the time to read my comments (which seem to be mini-novels). I REALLY enjoy your posts & sharing my experiences/thoughts with you & Renard’s followers.
        Sincerely, Sherri-Ellen

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Well said Sherri-Ellen.

          The saying you mentioned is apt.

          I shall add a variation

          “We plan..God laughs”

          Always love your mini -Novels, coming straight out of heart.

          We are thankful to you for sharing your life experience with us that can guide the younger generation.

          Thank you so much

          Have a great weekend

          Liked by 1 person

              1. Ah Dr, Sridhar…..I can tell you when I was 18 I thought I knew it all…oh yes I had the entire world figured out! Then again living thru the 70’s as a teenager in Canada it is no wonder I felt like that. We all thought we were so clever…
                By the time I was 30 I realized my Nanna & my Father an my Aunts & Uncles ALOT smarter than me….then I started to listen….
                I used to drive my Father crazy by asking for HIS advice & then I would do the OPPOSITE! And of course, things never turned out well. When I turned 40 years old I told my Father my bleated Birthday gift to him was from that point on I would ALWAYS take his advice & I kept my word…he said it was the BEST gift of all…. 😉

                Liked by 2 people

                    1. Very true what you said Sherri-Ellen.

                      At some time or other during our lives, God sees to that we realise our drawbacks/ mistakes and guide us to better our rest of the lives.

                      Mistakes one committs in the past sure to give better experience in the future to deal things properly.

                      Thank you so much

                      Liked by 1 person

  9. Very true Dr. Sridhar~~ I must have given G-D fits over the years…some of my best ideas & decisions were reckless & foolhardy. I was so stubborn. If my Father or anyone suggested a course of action I’d do the exact opposite! He & my Nanna (GrandMother) said I gave them their white hair….
    Now I am getting white hair & actually a bit of wisdom to go with my hair 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  10. great post as always. while I agree with many of your viewpoints, I disagree with ‘everything happens for a reason.’ even if the event is truly unspeakably evil… good can still be found overtime. perhaps it might lead to people realizing it is wrong and make changes so it doesn’t happen again. it may happen to teach us something. perhaps its nature’s way of reminding us that we are not invincible and life is indeed fragile and precious

    Liked by 1 person

  11. My absolute most-hated “advice” is “Everything happens for a reason”. I’m sure if someone said that to be at the height of my grief I would lose my composure!

    But, I never thought about the “Don’t Talk To Strangers”, you bring up a great point about arranged marriages!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Carmen.
      Appreciate taking your time and joining the discussion.

      I don’t know about the things In other countries, but in India it’s common as far as arranged marriage is concerned.

      Here both bride and bridegroom are strangers to each other before they meet and get married (because of elders recommendation from both side of the families).

      Liked by 2 people

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