The truth is that we can be hurt by our own expectations.
We all have expectations.
If you are the type of person who is unsure that they have expectations, I highly suggest that you read further.
What Is Expectation?
Here are two definitions of expectation from the Oxford Dictionary:
- A strong belief that something will happen or be the case.
- The belief that someone will or should achieve something.
Therefore, we will either have self-expectations or expectations from others.
A Closer Look At Self-Expectations
Self-expectations are the standards that you set upon yourself. If those expectations of yours are unrealistic, you will end up being disappointed.
Self-confidence is important in this situation.
As long as your expectations are reasonable, you will not end up being disappointed if things failed to work out in your favour.
All that is required is you being kind to yourself.
What Are Your Expectations From Others And Other’s Expectations From You?
My friend, the list is a long one, but I will talk about the important ones.
You expect honesty, unconditional love, total trust, non-judgementalism, and you also expect people to change overnight.
You want people to agree with you on everything.
You expect others to know what is on your mind in advance.
Other people also expect the same things from you.
The Greater The Depth Of The Relationship Is The Greater Of The Intensity Of The Expectations
Come to think of it, minimum expectations in one’s relationship lead to greater happiness.
Maybe, the fault lies with the way in which we were brought up. We were psychologically conditioned into studying hard at school, getting a good job after we have graduated from school, finding a loving spouse, having wonderful kids, becoming rich, etcetera.
We were brought up to expect things!
The Categories Of Expectations
The categories of expectations are:
I am not going to deal with them in detail because you already know what they are.
Which Category Of Expectation Is Better?
Unfortunately, I cannot provide you with an answer to this.
I can only speculate that the intention of expecting something, deprives one of their happiness.
Are Expectation And Hope The Same?
No, my friend. They are different.
Expectation entangles you in the world of disappointment since you feel that you are being deprived of something.
Hope gives you an opportunity to think in a proper way; if your wishes are not fulfilled, you will accept the outcome because you were prepared for it mentally.
Are Goals And Expectations The Same?
To some extent, yes.
Goals can be considered as a form of expectation since goals are the reason why we work hard to achieve what we wish to become.
With the goal in mind, one can devise a better plan to achieve it; this helps in the area of bringing their goal to fruition.
Are Expectations Always A Bad Thing?
No, my friend.
There is nothing wrong with wishing for something.
Sadly, most of the expectations go beyond wishing.
Expectations have both good and bad sides.
But remember, 90% of our problems are caused by expectations.
Expectations Can Be Problematic
The problem with all of us is that we create a picture in our head of what is supposed to happen and get screwed because things did not turn out the way we expected them to.
However, there is a simple formula; which is to expect the unexpected.
Then again, someone jokingly said, “Even the unexpected becomes part of the expectation.”
“The Secret of happiness is low expectations.” ― Barry Schwartz
Easier said than done!
Helpful Things To Consider
Let us not get disappointed in each and every negative situation (Life is too short for that).
“I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.” ― Bruce Lee
Let us live a decent life; one which involves respecting and loving each other.
Let there be more giving than more taking.
The Take-Home Message
“To exist in this vast universe for a speck of time is the great gift of life. Our tiny sliver of time is our gift of life. It is our only life. The universe will go on, indifferent to our brief existence, but while we are here we touch not just part of that vastness, but also the lives around us. Life is the gift each of us has been given. Each life is our own and no one else’s. It is precious beyond all counting. It is the greatest value we can have. Cherish it for what it truly is… Your life is yours alone. Rise up and live it.” ― Terry Goodkind
About the guest author:
Dr. Sridhar is the man behind Philosophy Through Photography.
This deep thinker from India wears many hats; he is a physician, a blogger, a philosopher and an amateur photographer.