Everybody tells everybody else that it is necessary to heal, in order to truly move on. Some people need to move on from a recent break up, some from a hefty business loss, some from a tragic loss, some from a traumatic past experience, and so forth.
And just as most of the people receive this advice, they immediately start wondering, “Who’s gonna heal me?”
Here I am, sharing my two cents, in an attempt to help those very people, to answer this very question.
The answer is just as simple as unimaginable when actually required — YOU. Only and only the person who has been hurt, knows oneself in the best way, therefore knows how deep the wound is. No matter how much of yourself you have poured in front of somebody else, nobody can know you as well as you can, only you can feel the actual extent of your pain. Therefore, only you can heal it.
Many people believe that there is no need for healing, that once you have get hurt, you just have to learn the lesson and never repeat the mistake. This may help for a while, but just for a while. Also, lessons are best learnt only when understood from their root cause. And the process of learning the lesson from the root cause is one way through which one can heal — by seeking and understanding what actually went wrong, and not running away from the future occurrences, but gaining mental strength to handle the situation better the next time. One can never control life, no matter how hard one tries. But one can definitely try to understand themselves better, in order to somehow smooth-en their journeys.
Usually, people try to find a healer in some other person. The fact is, the person you think can heal you, is the person who can only help better your situation somehow, but is never the permanent solution. Making a person your permanent solution is falling into a deeper pit for your soul. See, that person can never be as yours as you are, so make yourself your permanent solution. Lesser fuss.
There are many other ways, simple things, that one can do. Healing is a process, never an impulse.
Give yourself as much time as you need. Let no one tell you how much you need, you decide. Trust me sweetie, no one will give you the time you actually need, it’s your life, only you can give yourself this time.
“Just like there’s always time for pain, there’s always time for healing.” — Jennifer Brown
Talking is very essential, even the conversations that lead you nowhere. Talk to your family, no matter what you think they can understand or not (they might surprise you). Talk to a friend, or maybe a stranger. Talk it out.
ADOPT A HOBBY
Try gardening, or carpentry, or reading, any sport, dance, do just about anything. You just have to start, and the happiness and peace you would get out of it will automatically get you hooked to it. A healthy hobby always helps maintain a good life balance.
Let your heart just explode, and capture that explosion with creativity. Write. Draw. Paint. Doodle. The world literally is your canvas, just pour out everything and let that ray of that new light enter you. Only when you will empty the painful vessel, can that ray of hope or something new and better can enter it.
If you think that the situation might be getting out of your hands, that maybe you are not getting better even after trying, or maybe you cannot bring yourself to try, seek out help. Please. For yourself. Seek it out once, it will definitely help in some way or the other. It will definitely give you a clearer perspective (might even help you decide that you would do fine on your own and don’t even need to be in one ).
“To hurt is as human as to breathe.” — J. K. Rowling
Indeed. Getting hurt is inevitable. One gets hurt because one cares, and there are always things one cannot stop caring about. So many people try to avoid getting hurt, or avoid feeling pain, by building up walls, emotionally guarding themselves by developing various defense mechanisms. They believe at the time that those mechanisms will save them, not realising that those very mechanisms will take them away from their humanity, from their true self. What is life if not feeling all your emotions, right? And why be scared of the inevitable? What has to happen, will definitely happen. Fearing the consequences — like failing, or assuming that even the fruition of one’s efforts will not bring the desired satisfaction — make us devoid of so many opportunities, and so much of experience and wisdom
Only the sufferer feels the difference between the statement — go with the flow, and the real implementation of it, that how difficult it is to even imagine living a life without trying to protect oneself from getting further hurt, without planning for the uncertain future scenarios, even if they have closer to zero possibility of an actual occurrence.
There is A LOT of love within you.
BREATHE. AND BELIEVE.
About the guest author:
Lekhikaa is a gifted woman from India. She has a background in computer engineering and she spends her time as a school teacher (Wow, that is one remarkable woman).
Her lovely blog is called: The Lettered Paradise.