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Everybody tells everybody else that it is necessary to heal, in order to truly move on. Some people need to move on from a recent break up, some from a hefty business loss, some from a tragic loss, some from a traumatic past experience, and so forth.

And just as most of the people receive this advice, they immediately start wondering, “Who’s gonna heal me?”

Here I am, sharing my two cents, in an attempt to help those very people, to answer this very question.

The answer is just as simple as unimaginable when actually required — YOU. Only and only the person who has been hurt, knows oneself in the best way, therefore knows how deep the wound is. No matter how much of yourself you have poured in front of somebody else, nobody can know you as well as you can, only you can feel the actual extent of your pain. Therefore, only you can heal it.

Many people believe that there is no need for healing, that once you have get hurt, you just have to learn the lesson and never repeat the mistake. This may help for a while, but just for a while. Also, lessons are best learnt only when understood from their root cause. And the process of learning the lesson from the root cause is one way through which one can heal — by seeking and understanding what actually went wrong, and not running away from the future occurrences, but gaining mental strength to handle the situation better the next time. One can never control life, no matter how hard one tries. But one can definitely try to understand themselves better, in order to somehow smooth-en their journeys.

Usually, people try to find a healer in some other person. The fact is, the person you think can heal you, is the person who can only help better your situation somehow, but is never the permanent solution. Making a person your permanent solution is falling into a deeper pit for your soul. See, that person can never be as yours as you are, so make yourself your permanent solution. Lesser fuss.

There are many other ways, simple things, that one can do. Healing is a process, never an impulse.


Give yourself as much time as you need. Let no one tell you how much you need, you decide. Trust me sweetie, no one will give you the time you actually need, it’s your life, only you can give yourself this time.

“Just like there’s always time for pain, there’s always time for healing.” — Jennifer Brown


Talking is very essential, even the conversations that lead you nowhere. Talk to your family, no matter what you think they can understand or not (they might surprise you). Talk to a friend, or maybe a stranger. Talk it out.


Try gardening, or carpentry, or reading, any sport, dance, do just about anything. You just have to start, and the happiness and peace you would get out of it will automatically get you hooked to it. A healthy hobby always helps maintain a good life balance.


Let your heart just explode, and capture that explosion with creativity. Write. Draw. Paint. Doodle. The world literally is your canvas, just pour out everything and let that ray of that new light enter you. Only when you will empty the painful vessel, can that ray of hope or something new and better can enter it.


If you think that the situation might be getting out of your hands, that maybe you are not getting better even after trying, or maybe you cannot bring yourself to try, seek out help. Please. For yourself. Seek it out once, it will definitely help in some way or the other. It will definitely give you a clearer perspective (might even help you decide that you would do fine on your own and don’t even need to be in one 😉).

To hurt is as human as to breathe.” — J. K. Rowling

Indeed. Getting hurt is inevitable. One gets hurt because one cares, and there are always things one cannot stop caring about. So many people try to avoid getting hurt, or avoid feeling pain, by building up walls, emotionally guarding themselves by developing various defense mechanisms. They believe at the time that those mechanisms will save them, not realising that those very mechanisms will take them away from their humanity, from their true self. What is life if not feeling all your emotions, right? And why be scared of the inevitable? What has to happen, will definitely happen. Fearing the consequences — like failing, or assuming that even the fruition of one’s efforts will not bring the desired satisfaction — make us devoid of so many opportunities, and so much of experience and wisdom

Only the sufferer feels the difference between the statement — go with the flow, and the real implementation of it, that how difficult it is to even imagine living a life without trying to protect oneself from getting further hurt, without planning for the uncertain future scenarios, even if they have closer to zero possibility of an actual occurrence.

There is A LOT of love within you. 


About the guest author:

Lekhikaa is a gifted woman from India. She has a background in computer engineering and she spends her time as a school teacher (Wow, that is one remarkable woman).

Her lovely blog is called: The Lettered Paradise.


Published by Lekhikaa’s Blog

A teacher. A learner. A daughter. A sister. A partner. A friend. A struggler. A survivor. An atheist. A believer.

23 thoughts on “HEALER

  1. That’s good advice from your guest, Renard. Each one of us has our own story, our own burden to carry through our lives. How we deal with those issues I believe will become a part of who we are as individuals. An example was my mother’s passing eight years ago.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. 👍 Yes, I also agree that the guest author — Lekhikaa, gave us good advice.

      Also, please accept my condolences.

      Lekhikaa will respond to your comment when she comes online (The time zone in India is different from ours).

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Oh John, my heart has become heavy on reading about your mother. You’re right, we do have our own burdens to carry through our lives, our own journeys, that no matter how much they seem similar, they are very unique.
      Thank you for resonating with this.


  2. Thank you Lekhikaa, beautifully you put the points on the ways to cope up with life’s struggles.

    This also made me think of role of astrologers in the Indian Society.
    Majority rush to seek their advice in times of distress.

    What are your thoughts and how reliable these astrologers and why you think they are popular among all sects of society?

    True one has to take the decision oneself.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for reading the post and appreciating it, dear philosopher.

      Aah, the astrology! Personally, I have had an affinity for stars and their role in our lives since my childhood. And all the hard work that my parents have put in just for their children to not blindly live their lives according stars has made me kind of weary of it as well.

      Astrology is very very popular here, in India. You ask why, that’s because maybe people have to have something to blame for their troubled times or credit for their happinesses. Many a people follow astrology because of the fear, fear of failure in an endeavour, or maybe fear of health, and mostly, it’s for wealth 😅. India is a very religious country, it’s hard here to not to believe in this science.

      Even if you find a person all practical and publicly anti-astro, that person also, at some point, for some life changing decision, DEFINITELY has consulted, or will consult an astrologist.

      And yes, you’re right. True one HAS to take decisions oneself. But, what if there is some way, that can guide you a bit towards the more favourable path? The greed for ‘the better’, the ‘more’ favourable, is the emotion that drives people to astrology, no matter how reluctant they are. The more important the decision, the greater the desparation.

      As for me, yes I do believe in astrology. I don’t blindly follow it, but it sure helps answer some questions. It’s a science, one can’t deny that. It’s just how one takes it, how they perceive the findings.

      And as to what led me to have faith in this, is the incident of my father finding a small piece of paper, on which an astrologer, some 15 years back, had written some predictions about my family — my father’s health; the field where my sister would land— and it had all ended up to be true, even when things weren’t planned in our house that way.
      So, this incident surely changed my father’s perspective, as well as changed my curiosity into belief.

      Not all astrologers are reliable. You see, everything’s a business as well. Many are just spoofing the science and misleading people. However, some are genuinely knowledgeable and giving.

      But again, it all depends on oneself. After all, it’s us who take the decision, and only us and our close ones who face the consequences.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you my friend for the detailed explanation.
        One must be lucky to get a scholarly astrologer.

        Life is both funny and strange that we believe only when we experience things in our life.Till that time it’s blah blah….

        Always wonder the various aspects of life like trust,belief,faith,truth,perspective,fear and facts whether all linked to an individual personal experience and can change the individual’s thinking power totally!

        As you rightly put it it’s natural that things are commercialised but then that is the norm accepted and people are moving on…

        But what intrigued me was when the famous astrologer predicted his own death and committed suicide.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. The astrologer, his prediction, and the suicide – again an example of how one should never blindly follow any belief. All the theories that we cook up inside our mind, start playing games with us through overthinking and over-believing. That is why, a balance is necessary in everything.

          Liked by 1 person

            1. Maybe it’s the society that affects our parents’ minds which in turn affects our upbringing and also the environment, which make us weaker, mentally. Or maybe, the increasing misery in the world makes us fearful. But yes, it can all be controlled by our minds. But who decides what is the proper food for the mind to be and remain healthy?

              There are just so many whats and hows. Psychology and sociology are very vast and no matter how much I read about people and our minds, I never have a definite answer.


  3. Beautiful post, Lekhikaa. Your points are well taken and your last line – BREATHE. AND BELIEVE. an excellent finale. In my opinion, healing is necessary to give us closure and hopefully be at peace with ourselves thus the will to move forward.

    Liked by 1 person

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