Taking A Closer Look At Friendship

Humans are ingenious!

We, humans, are primates, highly intelligent of all the different species; we are social, and proudly calling ourselves homo sapiens.

But what I don’t understand is why are we not celebrating the standard and common occasions on the same day throughout the world?

Humans are unique since they agree to disagree!

For example, let us talk about ‘Friendship day’. In some parts of the world, it is celebrated on the 30th of July. In other parts of the world, it is being celebrated on the 2nd of August and this intrigues me.

Here is a fact that even to celebrate the so-called ‘friendship day’, we are not on the same page in deciding a universal acceptable day!

Twitterati further adds to your confusion!

Irrespective of all these… all that matter is friendship & Bonhomie, right?

Wishing all my WordPress readers, friends and well-wishers a ‘Happy Friendship Day’

This day also reminds us of the real meaning of friendship and the degree of importance we give to our friends.

The discussion below is limited to friendship among adults.

And are you serious about ‘Friendship’?

What are your thoughts on friends in general and friendship in particular?

If you want to know the truth, then you have to believe what I say.

What is your reaction if I say ‘friendship’ is a misguided concept on the people, played day in and out?

Surprised? Read further…

What about quotes on ‘True Friendship’?

The saying ‘Friend in need is a friend indeed’ is true to what extent? How far your friend is coming to your rescue in times of real crisis?

Each one of us is busy in our way and the easiest thing one can indulge in is coming out with serious excuses which you and I pretty well know that… is a lie.

My friend, if you Google about quotes on ‘friendship’ I am sure you can have billions of quotes which you think are worthy of your life and your so-called faith in the ‘friendship’.

I don’t blame you because you are innocent, kind-hearted and most importantly you believe in people from the bottom of your heart, and there were occasions when you even opposed your parents for the sake of friends and friendship.

Many times you claimed that friends are an extended family! Nothing more deceitful than this!

Remember every one of us has to lead our own life, and even your family members ditch you when they feel it a fit case!

Mark my word

It’s hard to find a genuine friend.

If somebody claims that they have genuine thick friends, whom they consider Best Friends Forever, remember that there is some element of selfishness in those kinds of friendships.

“There is some self-interest behind every friendship. There is no friendship without self-interest. This is a bitter truth.” — Chanakya.

Why it’s impossible to get a true friend?

I never said so.

‘True friendship’… just like ‘true love’ is possible if there are mutual respect and understanding with total dedication, irrespective of the hurdles.

You know pretty well that these things are not possible and it is better to be frank.

Unfortunately, these days being a good human being or being 100% honest, is a recipe for more misunderstanding and disaster.

This is because the meaning of friendship changes from time to time just as seasons change and circumstances play spoilsport.

To put it simply, friends owe you nothing and all of them including you are judgmental!

Is friendship all a show?

Yes, in 99% of the situations it’s a show.

Friends bring you ‘feel-good sensation’ only when you are in the parties and the rest of the time, they make you undergo anger, hatred, jealousy, frustration, and depression.

“The saddest thing about betrayal is that it never comes from your enemies.” — Unknown

Is friendship is overrated?

The answer is ‘Yes’ and social media has caused enough damage.

As far as friendship is concerned, each one of us comes out with our explanations based on our individual experience.

Some say it is undervalued; some say it’s overrated. Many say that it’s another name for HYPOCRISY.

You are the judge.

What about the ‘online’ unknown friendship?

Less said the better, since there is no true commitment to start with.

What is the difference between a friend and an enemy?

OMG! you are too innocent and hence asking this brilliant question.

“A close friend can become a close enemy.” — African proverb (Ethiopian)

Is being introvert better than an extrovert?

Since you read the topic so far, I leave the decision making to the best of your ability.

Who can become your true friend?

There is one. And you need not hesitate about finding out who this friend is. Are you curious?

Just look into the mirror.

“I myself am the only friend I have.” — Terence

Please share your views and thoughts based on your experience.

Thank you. Namaste 🙏🙏🙏

About the guest author:

Dr. Sridhar is the man behind Philosophy Through Photography.

This deep thinker from India wears many hats; he is a physician, a blogger, a philosopher and an amateur photographer.

Published by philosophy through photography

My philosophy is: Life is hard, but God is good. Try not to confuse the two. Anne F. Beiler

48 thoughts on “Taking A Closer Look At Friendship

  1. 🤔 Hmm. That is an interesting take on the topic of friendship, Dr. Sridhar.

    I guess that it all depends on the person’s definition of friendship.

    Thanks again for another highly controversial guest post!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Why are you so pessimistic, dear Dr Sridhar? Do you truly believe that friendship is selfish and true friendship does not exist? Or are you addressing mostly young and naïve people who are easily mistaken in their choice of friends?

    Liked by 3 people

    1. He has a very fair point. Not everyone can have a true friend, and unfortunately I don’t as well. I’m an introvert and things have been really hard for me when it comes to making true friends. In my opinion, friendship is another name for heartbreak!

      Liked by 2 people

      1. It is a very good point, I agree. I feel for you and other people who are finding it challenging to develop true friendships. Yet true friendship does exist, and it’s a very precious thing to have.

        Liked by 4 people

        1. Thank you Dolly for talking to Charles Cudjoe Jnr.It’s not difficult to get good friends.Only thing required is to say ‘YES” to what ever your friend suggests.So no clash.At the end all are happy.

          The point I am stressing is dedication,which unfortunately not possible and BFF theory etc are only for the time being and it’s fun and enjoyable to claim so and so is my BFF

          Better call a spade a spade.

          Liked by 2 people

          1. But darling, why are you saying that dedication is not possible? I am wondering what makes you say that. I have experienced dedication of my friends many times in difficult situations, and so have my parents, grandparents, and relatives in a large extended family. So have most people I know. And why not?

            Liked by 2 people

              1. I am not gifted and I am not one in million. My parents, may they both rest in peace, had a network of friends who have always been there for each other, so did my grandparents, and my entire extended family, as well as the families of our friends. The same is true for most people of the community where I live and work. I only wish more people would have this blessing!

                Liked by 1 person

                1. Thank You Dolly,It’s nice to know about your family, relatives,extended family and friends being there for each other.
                  This reminded me of families in our villages and small towns with lots of relatives staying large bungalow and the kids having real fun and as they grow increasing the bond further.Also every body in the town know each other and are helpful to on many occasions.This was also a kind of joint family life pattern and sadly this concept is under stress due to modern life style as people moved to cities.

                  I too wish we get back those days.

                  Have a great day Dolly.

                  Liked by 1 person

      2. Thank you Charles Cudjoe Jnr,Glad that you and I are resonating .Of course each individual experiences may vary.

        And the feelings can range from happiness to excitement to depression to heartbreak, depending upon the response and reaction we get from our so called friends.

        Being an introvert has its own advantages.

        Liked by 1 person

    2. Oh Dolly,come on….

      who doesn’t want to have the best in the life ? Who doesn’t want to have an understanding friend forever ?

      I believe just like true love, ‘true friendship’ is also possible.

      Unfortunately the general experience (as we hear from many sources and also individual experiences)…..it’s a bit rare to have such good friends who come to you in times of crisis,not just crisis….who can understand what we are and why we are.

      Every one of us have a friend in each stage of our life.Can we recollect the same friend who is with us in all these stages?

      The saying is….When you face a crisis,you will know..who your true friends are !
      As long as there is no crisis….everything is Heavenly with friends.

      Friendly neighbourhood is altogether a different entity and survives purely on mutual benefit.They love us and we return our love !

      Same is the case with our colleagues.

      This is nothing short of ‘Fake Love’ & ‘Fake Friendship’

      The so called true friendship blossoms as long as the friends are in different places.When they stay together….the story takes a different turn.

      Every where we have friends,because we love to spend time in our own selfish way and friends do the same thing with us,

      When our blood relatives ditch us for no reason….we can’t expect generosity from our dear friends.

      Thank you Dolly once again,it’s always a pleasure to talk to you.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Don’t take me too seriously, dear Pluto; I like to tease people. We just had the same discussion in class with my students. I think you are saying something very important: IF we are selfish, then our so-called friends will also be selfish; however this is a very big IF. Turned it around, if you will: if you are giving, you will be blessed with giving friendships.
        The pleasure is mine, to engage in meaningful discussions with you, dear friend.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Dolly,I love being teased in general …..you know why….it brings out best in us.

          It’s nice being teased especially by you, know why…. because your teasing adds special flavour to the discussion which by now becomes tasty and interesting.

          It’s really a boon if somebody is having a true friend.However it is a long process and there should be some element of mutual admiration.
          Thanks again 👍😃.

          Liked by 1 person

  3. While I understand that these are all just your opinions on friendship, I am against the fact that you generalized it. We are all humans and there’s hardly anything we do without a selfish reason. That doesn’t mean having friends isn’t one of greatest things to ever exist. These people will listen you rant about the same thing, go around being weird with you, make you happy. We all have lives and humans can’t stay in a place forever. There are actual people out there who love their friends as much as their friends love them. Now I don’t know about true love but true friendship is real.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. The fact that not everyone has a true friend doesn’t mean those who have it should think its b.s. I know that from experience. Even if some friendship I had ended, that doesn’t mean they weren’t the best while they lasted.

        Liked by 2 people

        1. Thank you Aishah for replying to Charles Cudjoe Jr.

          The whole concept of friends,friendship,BFF or true friendship…..depends on individual experiences and can be different in different situations, and it can’t be generalised.This point I made it clear in my article.

          ‘To each their own’ phrase perfectly fits in this particular topic.No one is wrong.

          Perception & reality is a too big subject for discussion and God willing one day I may cover this subject.

          Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Aishah.

      As I said in the beginning of the post that we, the humans are fortunate that we agree to disagree and my feelings,opinions,suggestions etc may be considered either generalised or specific to a particular person or all together wrong and absurd. It’s perfectly OK.

      And we all respect our individual thoughts mutually and blogs are exactly for this purpose.

      I am glad you agree that as humans we are selfish and you are right in every aspect that this selfishness need not be linked to this ‘Eternal Friendship’

      The point I am stressing is that…Friends are willing to listen to our rants and we listening to their rants are simply mutual, a kind of ‘yes’ for yes’. Otherwise this friendship can’t survive.So friendship is for time being only and serves that little selfishness.

      This kind of sacrifice should be there throughout and from both the sides without any condition.And the most difficult part comes when we can’t cross the limits in order to save this friendship and break-up naturally follows.

      Unfortunately humans can’t be Gods and friendship naturally becomes handy just to survive for the day.

      It’s all together different feeling to cherish those friendly moments in our lives,but expecting friends to be our true saviours forever is a bit too much to digest.

      Humans do nothing without a return favour and friendship is no exception.Thanks again my friend for your thoughts.It’s been wonderful talking to you.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Excellent post, Dr. Sridhar. I like how you make one think about friendship. I believe friendship is what we make of it and dedication works both ways. True friends are hard to come by. Plus, a lasting friendship is sometimes difficult, many times because of outside influences.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank Eugenia for your thoughts Agree total dedication is required and that too…. throughout,which I felt is difficult due to so many reasons.I don’t blame people but the circumstances which make them behave the way they behave….ending the friendship.
      All of us love talking virtues of friendship but in reality it’s a different set up altogether

      Like

  5. Well, I think we may have lots of friends with whom we share some happy and sad times but to find genuine friends you have to be lucky. However, whatever be the kind of friends, you can share your concerns and secrets with them without thinking twice as we cannot talk everything with our family members. So friends are really important.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much Ritu Ramdev.
      Agree that all of us are united regarding a particular sentence that ‘one has to be lucky to find a genuine friend’

      So the next thought is ‘If only’…..

      As I mentioned in my post,we get different friends in different stages of our life.And it’s fun to spend time with friends.But the friendship is to be limited to that extent only.Don’t go beyond that….because these days the situation is different.

      You said “you can share your concerns and secrets with them without thinking twice as we cannot talk everything with our family members”
      Nothing more frightening than this.

      Family members (mother & father) are the best people in this world,who live only to guide us for a better life.
      Of course for every rule there can be exceptions too!

      Friends and friendship is for the time being only.Don’t give 100% dedication.Times change.People change,only thing left is you are disappointed and dejected and in extreme cases overwhelmed.

      Remember sharing secrets is no secret anymore.

      People always love to know, other’s secrets,affairs,weakness,and financial matter etc.
      “if you want to hide a secret,you must also hide it from yourself” George Orwell
      That is the power of secret.

      Revealing secrets is a sure recipe for getting blackmailed.

      True friends,true friendship,true lover,true love,soulmates,eternal love,twin flame etc are nice to read,listen,write poetry.watch in the movies,get immersed in fairy tales….all fine.But believing that these things exist is …….an ILLUSION.

      Regularly meetings with friends and say ‘hello or see you soon’ is fine but don’t go much deeper.Spending time during walks etc fine but not more than that.

      As Dolly was telling those days were different.In small places people know each other so well that they can trust each other 100%.But things are different now.We are living in a world of competition.
      My apologies for the rant,but I thought younger generation especially millennial better take care of themselves.
      Namaste🙏🙏🙏

      Like

      1. Thanks for being frank and I fully value your sentiments….but why do I feel that you have been betrayed by some friend of yours and you have made it a universal rule to not trust anyone.
        I totally agree that our family is always the best and always there to guide but I still insist that there are few things you cannot discuss with them…maybe out of respect or maybe their intervention is not required for certain things but certainly not out of fear and if we are honest then I’m sure there won’t be any dark secrets too.
        There are good people, still, in the world…we need to recognize them. I’m blessed to have some really good people in my life (it’s my perspective). If I don’t give my 100% then I have no right to expect 100% too. To attracts positive things in our life we need to give positive energy. One has to be pragmatic. Just giving my piece of mind. Hope you take it positively.
        Stay happy…Best wishes.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Thanks again Ritu Ramdev for further expanding the scope of this discussion’.

          To be frank with you,because of my profession I am associated with the most beautiful group of friends,and fortunately I am not betrayed so far and touch wood…..I ‘m among those rare breeds to be lucky to have good companion.

          The whole point I am trying to say is that such kind of friendships are rare these days.

          If you really gone through my post I have clearly mentioned that true friendship is possible but rare.

          As long as both friends trust each other everything is fine.No body can separate them.

          These days of Kaliyug,even if you give 100%,you must be willing not to expect anything in return.That’s the spirit of friendship.

          Positive energy & positive vibrations etc are good theoretically and it’s impossible to practice 100%.
          Let us be practical.Mind is a monkey and first it gives priority to thoughts of all bad happenings.It’s a kind of warning but it is up to one, to accept or reject minds apprehensions.

          Glad you are blessed with good companions and that means you are luckier.
          As I expressed earlier,I love people coming out with their views,perceptions,experiences if any, so that the discussion can move and opinions exchanged.

          I welcome both criticism and praise.After all blogs can be meaningful if only we have discussion in positive way.
          I love listening to people from different walks of life,each one coming out with unique perception of truth of life based on their own experiences.

          We are all in the process of continuous learning.

          Thanks your Ritu Ramdev for your perspective thus adding to my knowledge pool.Appreciate.

          Liked by 1 person

  6. Hmmm I agree with you Dr Sridhar, at my current age I can say everything you wrote I have experienced. I have not lost hope though to see a different side of friendships going forward. Let’s hope someone walks in my life and shows me something different🤞. Best wishes doc

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you my friend and from your comment I guess your age is sufficient enough to advice to the people younger to you.

      It is up to those younger people whether to appreciate your comment or not.

      In your case all is not lost.Surely some true friend is going to enter your life and you are going to share with us the true meaning of friendship and love.

      Like

    2. Please check your spam folder Justsharing77,My comment on your post ‘Cloudy dolphin’ is not being displayed.I gave a complaint to WP about my comments becoming spam for no reason.The’happy engineer said he will look into it. Renard Moreau earlier brought this fact to my knowledge.

      Dear Renard Moreau,my apologies for using your blog to convey this to Justsharing77. I hope you won’t mind and no other way I can reach Justsharing77

      Liked by 1 person

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